Let’s play a game. Go to Google and do an image search for “knit tea cozy”. Have a nice, long look, because there’s no way this post can equal the sheer byte-o-mass of Google for woolen wonder and horror.

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that there are very few dignified ways to keep your teapot warm. Most of the poor things look like dogs wearing most sweaters: you know the garment is meant for a human and can’t reconcile the pom-poms and lack of shape with your internal conception. The cognitive dissonance between your mental picture of a sweater as a knit garment and the shapeless reality in front of you builds until you suffer a wool-induced mental breakdown, characterized by fits of sever giggling. (This is, oddly, also one of the upsides of dogs wearing sweaters.)

My current method of swaddling it in a tea towel now seems merciful in comparison.

I’m not going to post the ones that make me giggle hardest; anyway, I think it was the aggregation of all of them together that really drove the point home. My current favourites are the ones that look like fruits

or well-rendered flower pots

and this one, which reminds me of something in a fairy tale. Maybe Cinderella.

My least favorites are the ones that look like circus tents or have pom-poms. 

I am almost intimated enough–by both the glorious and the terrible–to give up the idea of making a tea cozy, but insulation I must have, let the chips fall as they may.

Incidentally, I was just about to make a tea cozy. I just did a search to see the most common construction details and got horribly, wonderfully derailed.