With all the terrible things I write, you may be wondering: Do I ever say anything so terrible I horrify myself?

The answer: absolutely. Funnily enough, I actually have a fairly low horror threshold. I had a friend holding my hand through most of Final Destination II. Some of the cards in Cards Against Humanity still hold the power to shock me, every time. (This is down from our initial run of the game, in which most of the cards had that power.)

And yet, I can’t help myself. The extended dialogue with the swedes (much of which was excised for the sake of public sensibilities I’m old fashioned-enough to pretend exist) was followed by NTS’s deep-voiced commentary:

I have gazed into the abyss, and the abyss gazed into me, wide-eyed, and said, “What the hell is wrong with you?”